Quiet, withdrawn, shut down… Those words could describe most children when they first arrive at Oasis. The effects of trauma coupled with the overwhelming nature of new people and new places means that most children want to shrink back. The staff know just how much space to give a child as he or she takes in new surroundings, letting him or her slowly begin the long journey of adjusting and healing.
Those three words definitely describe one child as he joined The Shelter. Beyond “quiet,” our staff described him as “a boy with no voice.” He didn’t share about the struggles he experienced at home. He didn’t participate in classes. He didn’t interact with other children. The shell into which he had withdrawn for protection was also preventing anyone from helping him. He hadn’t attended school previously and could not read or write. But while refusing to speak, he could not grow in these areas.
This shell, even one this strong, isn’t a surprise to The Shelter staff. Every single staff member has a toolbelt ready for just such a situation. The first step the staff takes is to build trust. By creating safety through dependability and positive attitudes, staff offer trust to children whose trust has been shattered. This boy began to trust.
From a place of trust, a child can begin to receive love. This isn’t a quick journey. It took quite some time, but eventually the realization happened with the boy as well. He understood that he belonged at The Shelter, with people who loved him. When social workers offered love during a counseling session, he received it. When tutors offered support during lessons, he accepted it. When peers offered belonging on their sports team, he joined.
Sports have played a major role for this child and many others; it allows them to find their voices. He may never be the outspoken one in class or the noisy one at his house, but he is absolutely the competitive one on the basketball court and the soccer field. As he’s learned skills on the field, he’s experienced success. Success has built some confidence. Confidence has helped him open up to friendships. Those friendships have provided stability whether the team wins or loses, whether the grades are great or not. This same cycle, repeated daily and weekly, has now built some self-esteem for this amazing young man.
This is a long journey. This young man is beginning his 5th year with Oasis. These glimmers of trust, love, success, and self-esteem have just begun to feel normal. The staff remembers well “the boy with no voice,” but now they smile at who he has become.
