It’s no secret the children of Oasis have experienced trauma in their pasts. The results of trauma often manifest through very unexpected behavior even after they begin to feel safe with the Oasis family.
It might be negative behavior, but not always. Some children are very affectionate toward EVERY person they meet. Other children may struggle with structure. We could say, “It’s just how they are,” but we would miss what the behavior is showing us.
All behavior is sending a message. It’s up to us to listen and learn how to help.
At Oasis, we do this through a time of group play. This is a group class time where children aren’t taught reading, writing, or arithmetic; instead, they are being taught boundaries, respect, safety, and empathy for others.
One group play game is called Mingle, Mingle, Mingle – though often misinterpreted as Mango, Mango, Mango! Children and staff mingle around the room and then a leader shouts out “FRIEND!” Then, each person gives a friend a hug and continues to mingle. The leader can shout “ACQUAINTANCE” and everyone finds another person to give a handshake, or “STRANGER” and everyone simply waves to one another. What a silly game! And yet, this small tool is VITAL for the children at our sites to learn appropriate relationships, healthy touch, and safe boundaries.
Another group play tool is called the Safety Script. When a child begins to push a boundary or break a rule, instead of using “No” or “Stop,” our staff goes much deeper to the core issue by using the same sentence every time. If a young boy is hitting another child, for example, we say, “This is a safe place. I won’t let anyone hit you, so I can’t let you hit because this is a safe place.” This simple phrase goes far beyond the behavior and to the root of their heart’s need to be protected.
What a privilege we have to walk alongside these amazing children.
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